I have a couple confessions to make, which I have been convicted of over the weekend.

I did a whole lot of studying on Ephesians, Chapter 6, this weekend. I’m exegeting the passage concerning the full armor of God. However… do you remember what comes right before that?

If you really wanna know… click “more”.

The passage on children honoring their parents, and the passage concerning employment.

Now, the first I only took a small principle away – which led me to something else. However, the second, I got convicted bad. I got convicted about something else, but I’ll get to that in a minute. I got convicted otherwise, in that instance though. At work last week, towards the end of the week, I got chewed for reading a book during lunch when I hadn’t clocked out. I was a bit indignant, at first – because I had only been gone for 15 minutes. However – I realized something. While his wife had told me that anything under 1/2 hour (which was why I was indignant, at first), I didn’t have to clock out for – was I *really* justified taking my time, and reading a book while eating, if I could get done faster, and back to work?

Second, I got reminded of this today, in Ephesians. I don’t work for him alone – I work for the Lord. Would I slack off for Him? I’ve also not worked as hard as I could have, either. I was guilty. Despite my protestatiosn, despite my fuming at first – I was wrong – and I should have recognized it right off. I was being self-righteous! My righteousness is but filthy rags – and the best I can do is nothing all that special. I am, and was, wrong. I will have to go in early tomorrow – and apologize. Which I absolutely hate doing. I hate it a lot. I’m going to do it, though – and I have people who know me in the “real world” reading this blog – and who, I hope, will keep me accountable. So… yes. I am going to apologize – with no excuses – tomorrow, for not doing my best – and let them know I was wrong – and won’t repeat it. (Lord, please help me!)

*sigh*

The other thing… I’m a smoker. I got into the habit early in life, due to rebellion, and a smoker (and, incidentally, incredibly bad for me in every other way conceivable as well) girlfriend. I’ve smoked ever since. 9 years now, I do believe. I have two cigarettes left right now – I’m not buying any more tomorrow, and I’m trusting the Lord to honor my obedience. Why do I consider it obedience, when smoking is never explicitly addressed?

1. It is the last remaining outward vestige of my rebellious younger years. It’s the last visible holdover from my “prodigal son” life before.

2. My pastor explicitly told me – I’m not allowed to minister, or to serve in any way but generally, the church, until that sign of rebellion is gone. Period. Anything that is a barrier to ministry should be something I kick in the teeth, as soon as I can. It is solely my own obstinance that has kept me from it. I doubt I’ll be leading any Bible studies soon – but that obstacle to it will be gone.

3. My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Why pollute it? Why kill it – albeit slowly?

4. I sing. It’s destroyed my singing voice enough already. It really has. You can hear it, when compared to when I was younger. It’s not maturation – it’s destruction. I’m tired of destroying a gift God could use. I’m tired of it hindering me from joining in the worship team at church. My mom told me (she’s the music director) that I’m not allowed to minister until I quit smoking, too.

5. He that knows what is right – and does it not – to him it is sin.

So, tomorrow, I’m likely going to be cranky – although I pray God delivers me from it. I am going to trust in Him to help me with the addiction – and believe that He can. If He chooses not to – that’s ok. I need the lesson in self-discipline, regardless. Who doesn’t?

So… please pray for me. And thanks for listening.

Hope you had a blessed, and wonderful Lord’s day. I sure did – even if I had a bit of a rebuke. It’s ok, though. “Whom the Lord loves, He chastens” – right? I really did have an awesome time with Ephesians 6. I hope it’s as great to hear for you as it was for me to study. I’ll have it up tomorrow. Hopefully, I’ll also finish part 2 of the last Schaeffer installment. I get excited when I get into the good stuff like that.

By the way – I should have some excellent quotes from the sermon tonight. Our youth pastor’s father in law is an old-school evangelist – and he spoke tonight. It was not just awesome – it was a man of God giving us the Word of God. It’s been a good bit since I heard such a clearly authoritative division of the Word. It was great. Hope you were as blessed!