I’m going to try to make this a semi-regular thing on my blog.

Sharing things I’ve learned, struggles I’m going through – etc.

A while back, a lady in our church (I’m not saying who, because I know they may read this blog) gave me some good advice. I didn’t take it – for two reasons.

Unsurprisingly, they were the two reasons I’ve had so much trouble in the past.

First – I don’t like people telling me what to do – even in a kind way. I’m very, very independent-minded – and this is detrimental, when I need to take advice from the wise, as i havea track record of being unwise in that area. Wisdom is wisdom – regardless of the way it is offered. It was seconded from a completely separate party – who knows me even better than this lady did – and I had the same reaction. Why? Because I have a problem, when it comes to “directing my steps”.

The problem is pride – I know what I’m doing, and I’m going to do it my way. I’ve put off doing something I should have done a long time ago – simply because I didn’t want to take advice. That smacks entirely too much of “needing” others.

Folly!

Second – I wanted to do what I wanted to do, in this circumstance. There was no reasoned explanation for it – although I tried to fabricate one. The truth was – I just wanted to do it. The supposed reasons for it were a bunch of crap. I just wanted to, to satisfy some “requirement” I created for myself, with no basis at all besides my own desire to do so.

Selfishness. A derivation of pride, but one focused on your own wants and needs and desires – not selflessness – it’s antithesis.

Selfish desires are never healthy – regardless of what they are. I really did have a noble goal, in a way – but the desire behind that goal was not noble in the slightest. Therein lay the problem. I can logically reason through plenty of things – but our own weaknesses are what we always overlook. I did that in this case.

We love ourselves too much to want to criticize ourselves too harshly – unless we are being remarkably honest. I have to say – that doesn’t happen very often – although, due to this course correction, I’ve found myself being remarkably honest to someone in particular – which was the point of the advice I was given – and it was correct advice.

Now, please forgive me for being vague – but it involves at least two that read this blog – and the third most likely reads it, for all I know. So… I can’t be overly specific. If a time comes later when I can give the exact situation – I will.

Suffice it to say that I do believe (and am discovering) that the course suggested is much more fulfilling, and much more enjoyable than the “noble” course; which, as it was pointed out to me not long ago, is not really noble – if I’m just trying to “satisfy a requirement” that I set for myself.

Being self-sacrificing, when it’s really no sacrifice at all, is not exactly what we should have in mind for “self-sacrifice”. If it’s what we want – simply because we want it – that makes it an idol. When it is both idolatrous and counter-productive to our spiritual growth, in several ways – that makes it sin.

I hope that made sense. This doesn’t have to do with either of the subjects discussed last time. I had to be vague, since the subjects will likely read this. I doubt they will even know what I’m talking about, I was so vague – and I hopethat is the case. But, suffice it to say – I know what I mean – and I am now acting accordingly. If someone is sufficiently discerning to figure out what I’m talking about specifically – my hat is off to you. You beat me 😀

Anyway.

Back to work on “the surprise” I’m working on for the next Vox.