Long Time No See
Posted by RazorsKissAug 11
No, it’s not about how long it’s been since I posted.
It’s about my daughter, Kaylie. I’ve mentioned her before – in this post. She’s now 7 years old. I haven’t seen her since November, 2001. Not once. I hadn’t talked to her since she was 3 years old.
I finally talked to her today. It was, ultimately, bittersweet. When you reach the day you’ve been yearning for, for years – and she speaks, offhandedly, about “her daddy”- and she isn’t talking about you; a little piece of you dies. A very well-buried piece, but a piece that hasn’t surfaced in a long time. You can kid yourself – you can be told that she calls someone else daddy – but until you hear it, you can lie to yourself.
I can’t lie to myself anymore. It hurts. It hurts so badly that I’d like to just curl up on the bed and got to sleep until morning. It’s only 6:30. It doesn’t matter. I still want to. Writing helps, sometimes. It lets you exorcise some of the things you can’t get your mind off of, and get back to a semblance of normalcy. I don’t know if it will help, but I might as well try.
Don’t get me wrong. I was ecstatic that I finally got to talk to her. I still am, really. It’s just heartbreaking. It’s that sucker punch that you don’t see coming, can’t fend off, and can’t escape. I’m just rambling now, I guess.
I’ll have to live with it. I don’t have to like it. I don’t have to enjoy it. I just have to love her.
I always have, always will, and do so with all my heart. One day I’ll hear her call me daddy again. Whether here, or in heaven, it will happen.
Yeah, I’m being a bit transparent today. I’ll live. I’ll even smile, later. I have a wife who loves me, and children around me.
There’s always that piece of my heart that resides wherever she does, though. She’s my firstborn, and her daddy’s little girl. Even if she doesn’t know it. That’ll have to be enough for me. God knows. God loves me. God is merciful. God have mercy on me, a sinner.
Maranathah.
5 comments
Comment by My Boaz's Ruth on August 14, 2006 at 8:42 am
Is the person she is calling daddy a good person? Has the contact at least left you knowing she is in good hands? Your heart may be breaking for her, but she needs a daddy. If she can’t have you (and she hasn’t heard from you in 4 years. More than half her life), it would be very good for her to have a daddy that loves her and is going to treat her well. Little girls need their daddies just like little boys do.
This is a terrible situation for you, but it is bad for her as well. I don’t know how a mother gives up her child for adoption after birth — but it is a blessing to their new families that so many do. If your daughter is in a good family now, it is probably best for her that you do not confuse things with a second daddy. If she is not — any possibility of getting her back through the court system?
Does she know God as her daddy? Will her parents now be teaching her about God?
Comment by RazorsKiss on August 14, 2006 at 4:37 pm
Not to be vindictive, but this is the guy she cheated on me with, and left me for. I’m being led to believe my ex doesn’t want to be there, as well.
I’m not saying my ex is a bad mother. I don’t particularly trust someone who would cheat with someone’s wife, however.
My biggest problem is that the 4-year gap isn’t because I didn’t care. It’s because we lost track of each other. She moved to the opposite side of the country, and I’m not a rich fella. I can’t just jet up there every so often. We’re talking well over a thousand miles – and that’s with me halving the distance, now.
I’m annoyed she calls a cheater her daddy, mostly. Especially when I’ve been heartsick for years over this. Call it spite, if you want, but it does not make me happy, to say the least.
Oh, I know. Trust me, I know. However, she’s been told I abandoned her, and don’t care. That can’t be further from the truth. I only found where they were a short time ago.
I’d like to have some sort of shared custody, since we DO have joint custody. If she doesn’t want her – and she does – she would go to me, not to an adoptive family.
She’s still with her mom, and her boyfriend. They’ve never married. The “second daddy” is grade-A annoyance, because she left to move across the country, and hasn’t contacted me, my family, or anyone at all for over 3 years. Noone knew how to get ahold of her.
Doubtful, at best. 9 times out of 10, females win those cases unless it’s neglesct of some kind involved. My ex is not a bad mother. I just want to see her, and for her to spend some time with me. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.
No, and no. Which is the reason for the post referenced above.
It’s a long, convoluted thing. She wanted the divorce, and moved far away with her new boyfriend. I got left holding the bag, It sucks.
Comment by blestwithsons on August 15, 2006 at 5:21 pm
Oh Josh. Oh… You know my heart for you and yours. Aching for you, my brother.
and My Boaz’s Ruth, I find your interrogation, and your advice a bit on the insensitive side.
Comment by Josh Hicks on December 5, 2006 at 7:58 pm
God be with you, Brother. Sorry for this late, late, comment. Send me an email sometime. Grace to you.
Comment by Josh Hicks on December 5, 2006 at 7:59 pm
God be with you, Brother. Sorry for this late comment. Send me an email sometime.