It can’t teach you how long you’re supposed to cook a hot pocket for.

I looked.

Can anyone find that? If you do, I’ll give you a cookie. I just guessed. It worked. However, I’m jaded now.

I’ll never think about the internet the same again.

Update: I was given an address by two separate people in IRC moments ago.

So, I guess only hotpockets.com leaves me disillusioned.

(Thanks to Sakeri and Stark!)