We’ve discussed concepts, we’ve discussed theory – now, let’s discuss organizational models.

We all know by now what the “Ghetto” is. It’s the circular, exclusionary group of Christian god-bloggers who can’t seem to get out of their rut. That rut consists of several elements – but I want to focus on two – and the organization (or lack thereof), which causes them.
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Well, we put forth the “concept”, in the first post – and got some commentary. Now, let’s look at a bit more of what I’m speaking of. I do understand, I really do, what Brad is getting at with his points about helping the church. I’m trying to take some concepts out of his discussion, and apply them to the God-blogosphere, though. As much as I love helping at my church (and I do), blogging isn’t how I believe I can help my church. My church needs my technical skills, and my musical skills. That’s where I help them. The young(er) denizens are the ones who are “hip” with the computers, technology, and the like. But… the internet ministry in my area doesn’t have much demand, and doesn’t get much play. Let me explain why, so you see where I’m coming from.
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I’ve been following the conversation at Evangelical Outpost with a tremendous amount of interest. Joe is really shaking things up in the Evangelical blog community. I’m wondering, if it really isn’t an attempt to encourage what Brad, from 21st Century Reformation is saying over at The Dialogical Coffeehouse. I certainly took it that way myself.

What way? Well, let me tell you. Glenn Reynolds, the Instapundit, is so widely influential because his blog is what is known as a “metablog”. He links to specialists, who have the specific commentary on an issue. Well, I think we DO need meta blogs. But, we also need “communities”. If we are going to be “God blogs”, let’s follow the Biblical model. There is the overarching church – there are the individual churches – then there are the ministries within that church, and the small groups – the bible studies, and the like. So, let’s look at Brad’s graphic, concentrating on the right.
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I used to HATE it when this didn’t go my way. It’d get me down, depressed, and oh, so pissed off.

Praise the Lord, I’m no longer bound to the emotional savagery that
washes over you when it seems everything in life is conspiring to drown
you, and crush you.

See, I live by a different paradigm, now. My goal is NOT to advance
myself, and to make sure I’m #1 on everyone’s list. It’s to advance the
cause of Christ! So, like my friends from Skillet,

 Quote:

I’m a beep, I’m a vapor
I’m just a blinking light
I’m a beep, I’m a vapor
And I’m about to evaporate

And the future’s robbing my soul
I’m face to face with my futility
And my life is slipping away
Inhaling my mortality

And I feel my skin’s just a shell
Underneath is my reality
I breathe dimensions unknown
It conquers my mortality

It’s a mad world will it ever stop?
Will the madness end?
While my body decays my soul does not
Death is just the beginning

And the future is robbing my soul
Inhaling my mortality

‘Vanity of vanities – all is vanity”, says the preacher
– and I’m inclined to agree with him. Everything I’ve ever set my heart
on, save God, has been systematically dismantled, bit by bit. I know
why, too – I still claim ownership over my own life, in many respects,
and count my worthiness in other’s esteem, much too often.

God’s solution, as usual, is to pare my life down to it’s essence – He asks me, like Peter:

 Quote:

15 So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter,
“Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?” He said to Him,
“Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Tend My lambs.”
16 He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love
Me?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to
him, “Shepherd My sheep.” 17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son
of John, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the
third time, “Do you love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all
things; You know that I love You.” Jesus said to him, “Tend My sheep.

– John 21:15-19

That’s all that matters, folks.

Not job, not significant other, not children, not hobbies, not skill, not esteem – just read this.

 Quote:

23 And Jesus, looking around, said to His disciples, “How hard it will
be for those who are wealthy to enter the kingdom of God!” 24 The
disciples were amazed at His words. But Jesus answered again and said
to them, “Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! 25 “It
is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich
man to enter the kingdom of God.” 26 They were even more astonished and
said to Him, “Then who can be saved?” 27 Looking at them, Jesus said,
“With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are
possible with God.” 28 Peter began to say to Him, “Behold, we have left
everything and followed You.” 29 Jesus said, “Truly I say to you, there
is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father
or children or farms, for My sake and for the gospel’s sake, 30 but
that he will receive a hundred times as much now in the present age,
houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and farms,
along with persecutions; and in the age to come, eternal life. 31 “But
many who are first will be last, and the last, first.”

Yeah, I’m some religious nut. You betcha, kids. I stand on the promises
of God. I don’t need man’s affirmation, I need God’s. “Whom God loves,
He chastens”, though, is also something that comes to mind for a
Believer. God destroys you, in order to build you up. Doesn’t sound
like fun?
Oh, it isn’t. You Jesus was kidding, above, when He says “Children, how
hard it is to enter the Kingdom of God”? Heck no. I wouldn’t trade it
for anything in the world, though.

Cause despite the “refining” I’m going through right now – like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego – I’m FIREPROOF

Job 13:15 – “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.”

I love children. If they weren’t taught to behave, well, they get on my nerves, but I still love them.

I have two beautiful daughters. You’ve likely heard all about my
youngest, Gabrielle, by now. She’s adorable. Sweet disposition, smiles
for everyone.

I think I’ve mentioned my oldest, Kaylie Jordan, once. I lived for that
child. When I was still married, my wife told me once that she wondered
if I loved my daughter more than I did her. Well, now that I think
about it… I do, and did. She is… was… such a joy. The problem is,
I haven’t seen my little girl since November of 2001. I talked to her
for roughly 9 months afterwards, and didn’t hear from her mother at all
till early in 2003. I got to talk to her for about 5 minutes, and that
was the last time I heard from her. I miss her more than I can say. I
have pictures, but… I can’t look at them today. So I’m not going to
post them. Hopes has seen a couple of them.

I… as much as I love Gabby – which i truly think is just as much as I
love Kaylie, I couldn’t help it, as soon as I woke up this morning,
just hugging Gabby to my chest and whispering, with tears running down
my face, that i wish she could see her big sister. I won’t say she’s in
my mind constantly. I’d be lying. In a lot of ways, I try *not* to
think of her too much – because it HURTS. It’s been a year and a half
since I’ve talked to her, and close to 3 years since I’ve seen her, and
it’s still like an open wound.

She was.. is (I think of her in past-tense, sometimes – I think it’s a
sign of mourning… but I try to fight that tendency.) just the
sweetest little thing you’ve ever seen. Blue eyes, blond hair, in curls
down her back (even at 2 and a half). She was Daddy’s Little Girl. I
just really don’t know what to say about her, now. I can still see the
look on her face, the day I had to leave for Mississippi. I stayed as
long as I could. I think I had a pseudo-breakdown when I got divorced,
and I was really a mess. I had left the military, I couldn’t hold a
job, cause I’d just break down in the middle of work… it was not
pretty. If you’ve ever seen a grown man cry in the middle of a
warehouse full of other men, you’ll know exactly what i mean. I was
seriously out of it. I stayed as long as i could, solely to see my
daughter, as long as possible. My wife, as bad as we’d been to each
other, knew that that girl meant the world to me. She let me have her
the whole week before I left, and oh… the look my little girl gave
me, after I’d held her tight, for about 5 minutes, it seemed… it
broke my heart. I see that little face while dreaming, every so often,
and I wake up choking off a scream.

My ex-wife took at look at my face, and she todl me that if I didn’t go
now, I’d never be able to make myself do it. I think she was right. I
had my car packed up, and I drive about 25 miles, tears streaming,
until I finally couldn’t see. At a gas station, out in the middle of
nowhere – in the middle of the desert, i pulled off, sat at a filthy
picnic table, and cried – I think it was 2 hours. I’m not quite sure.
Several people asked me if i was alright – I told them “no” – but that
I would be, in a little while. I *think* they understood me, but I’m
not sure.

Finally, a policeman – I don’t know if someone called him, or he just
stopped by – probably the former – pulled up, and talked to me. I was
cried out, worn out, and wrung out, by this point. I looked a wreck,
and I felt it. He asked me what was wrong. I told him – “I just left
the person I love most in this entire world, in the hands of a person I
hate most”. His first question was “your ex?” I could only nod. He
talked to me for a minute or two, and told me to stay safe.

i just sat there, and smoked cigarettes, for another two hours. I’ve
never come closer to suicide than that moment. Only two things kept me
from it – a merry-go-round of images – her birth, her smiling, her
laugh, her face, while sleeping – and a little voice, almost too subtle
to notice, reminding me that I was God’s child.

Something I will NEVER forget, as long as I live. I believe that this
was the one and only time I’ve heard something directly from my Lord. I
heard it, clear as day. Remember – I’m in the middle of the Arizona
desert. I grew up there.

 Quote:

A father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows, Is God in His
holy habitation. God makes a home for the lonely; He leads out the
prisoners into prosperity, Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land.

I heard that, clear as bell, in my head. I don’t think i’d heard that verse in years. I’d never connected it with me.

 Quote:

A Father for the fatherless

God, I just want you to know, tonight, that I remember your promise.
I’m crying right now, writing this, and i can barely see the keys. but
Happy Father’s day. Please, watch over her for me. She was, and is,
yours, to begin with – but you know how much i love her. Just keep an
eye on her. Most importantly, bring her to know You. I don’t know how
I’d stand not seeing her when i see You. Please grant my prayer. be a
father to the fatherless.