It can’t teach you how long you’re supposed to cook a hot pocket for.

I looked.

Can anyone find that? If you do, I’ll give you a cookie. I just guessed. It worked. However, I’m jaded now.

I’ll never think about the internet the same again.

Update: I was given an address by two separate people in IRC moments ago.

So, I guess only hotpockets.com leaves me disillusioned.

(Thanks to Sakeri and Stark!)

No, it’s not about how long it’s been since I posted.

It’s about my daughter, Kaylie. I’ve mentioned her before – in this post. She’s now 7 years old. I haven’t seen her since November, 2001. Not once. I hadn’t talked to her since she was 3 years old.

I finally talked to her today. It was, ultimately, bittersweet. When you reach the day you’ve been yearning for, for years – and she speaks, offhandedly, about “her daddy”- and she isn’t talking about you; a little piece of you dies. A very well-buried piece, but a piece that hasn’t surfaced in a long time. You can kid yourself – you can be told that she calls someone else daddy – but until you hear it, you can lie to yourself.

I can’t lie to myself anymore. It hurts. It hurts so badly that I’d like to just curl up on the bed and got to sleep until morning. It’s only 6:30. It doesn’t matter. I still want to. Writing helps, sometimes. It lets you exorcise some of the things you can’t get your mind off of, and get back to a semblance of normalcy. I don’t know if it will help, but I might as well try.

Don’t get me wrong. I was ecstatic that I finally got to talk to her. I still am, really. It’s just heartbreaking. It’s that sucker punch that you don’t see coming, can’t fend off, and can’t escape. I’m just rambling now, I guess.

I’ll have to live with it. I don’t have to like it. I don’t have to enjoy it. I just have to love her.

I always have, always will, and do so with all my heart. One day I’ll hear her call me daddy again. Whether here, or in heaven, it will happen.

Yeah, I’m being a bit transparent today. I’ll live. I’ll even smile, later. I have a wife who loves me, and children around me.

There’s always that piece of my heart that resides wherever she does, though. She’s my firstborn, and her daddy’s little girl. Even if she doesn’t know it. That’ll have to be enough for me. God knows. God loves me. God is merciful. God have mercy on me, a sinner.

Maranathah.

No, it isn’t what you think.

Outspoken and antagonistic skeptic John Loftus locked horns with the outspoken and antagonistic Christian apologist Frank Walton in CADRE’s comment section. The irony?

The post was concerning whether atheists are persecuted or not, with BK condemning the hint of any such practice.

Neither person involved in the fracas were especially gracious. It looks as if there’s plenty of history between the two – but here’s a tip: Don’t let it spill into the comment section of other people’s blogs.

It’s not especially polite.

Well, the theme is almost finished completely. If you’ve been coming here a while, you’ll notice I have quite a few blocks on the left hand side missing. I’m isolating code, and I’ll fix them when I get time.

So, can I get some feedback on it? How does it look? Anything you’d change, if it were you?

Maybe I can start doing some actual posting soon – but that would involve a cessation of tweaking – and I’m a perfectionist!

Hope to hear from you.

Not quite perfect, but much closer than before.

I like it.

Left to go:

Header
Javascript expander conversion

Etc.

Whatcha think? I’m pretty sure most of you can read it now, at least.

“We take no position on Scripture or theology or morals,” said Donna Bott, a leader of a group called Episcopal Voices of Central Florida, which sponsored the meeting. “We are just Episcopalians.”

Great. Don’t takea position of theology – or Scripture. Just “be” your denomination.

Right.

Link.

Absurd? Oh yes.

(HT: crewbear, #prosapologian)

As you can see, I decided I didn’t like the silver content boxes. Now, they match the red-metal bars in my header. Plus, I just thought it looked cooler.

On the downside, I needed to redo roughly 20 images I had “done” already.

Oh, and I widened both the sidebars and the center content bar.

Coming up: Finish sidebars.

To Follow: Redo Postbox, Header Box, Footer Box.

Take OVER the WORLD.

Well, maybe not until next week. I’ll just have to see if I can fit it into my schedule. Taking over the world, that is. The rest will probably get done before the end of the week 😀

Latah.

I’m reworking this theme, and yes, I know it’s half-finished.

So…

I’ll work on it little by little throughout this week, and eventually, have it finished.

Blogging, for me, is equally design and writing. When I decide to design, I just can’t write.

Just as an update:

I said I was going to start blogging again – but this was the week I had to spend with my kids from Alabama – so I spent my time doing that. I have all the rest of the year to blog, you know?

I’ll post some more about that soon. Probably 😀 Depends on how much of a project this will be.

See you later!

I haven’t posted since March? That’s unreal.

Well, actually, I have been looking. At my blog, at it’s lack of posts … at my lack of inspiration for posts … my lack of time to write aforementioned posts … at the fact that I have two more kids for the summer …

Basically, to be honest, I just haven’t felt like it. To be brutally honest, I didn’t have anything worth posting about, apologetically. This is, after all, an apologetics blog. Well…

I don’t know if I’m going to keep it that way. I’m thinking, very hard, at making it a general blog. Just stuff I feel like posting. It may be of interest to some of you, it may not. Believe it or not, I have a great deal of interests which don’t involve apologetics. In fact, I’ve been indulging in those the better part of the spring and summer. Mostly spending time with my kids, playing video games (which, I’ll have you know, blogging severely curtailed), and hanging out with my wife – which blogging also curtailed. In the meantime, my wife has become quite the blogging maven.

She’s up for finalist in the Blogs of Beauty Awards, in the category of “Best Artistic Content”. As a photoblogger, primarily (at least, that was what I built her blog for, to begin with!), that’s the category she’s most excited about. Incidentally, she also was nominated for Best Contemporary Design… (To be honest, I don’t think it’s finalist material, so I’m not disappointed. Just as an aside.. I designed it, don’t think I’m dogging her out :D)

To get back to the original topic, though… I think I’m just going to start posting. Whether it’s about nothing in particular, or some things you may not be used to hearing about from me… I’ll be blogging again. I’m thinking – just thinking, mind you, about just using Vox for what it says – apologetics – and reclaiming my own blog for, well… myself.

We’ll see.

So, let’s catch up. Since I blogged last… I spent a bunch of time on IRC, meeting new people. Got bored of that, after a while. I’ve picked up my two year old from her mom’s, and her big brother, and we’ve had a great time! It’s also killed any inclination I had to ignore kids for online chatting. I only get to see them for two months. I have ten months to play on the computer. My hair is probably 3 inches longer, and now is starting to inch down my back, instead of just “respectably” hippie, at my neck. I’ve installed probably 150 more garage doors (including one for my mom and dad). I’ve turned a year older (June 30th) – I’m now 28. What else? Otherwise… I’ve read about 100 books since March – probably more. I’ve restarted – and dropped – two MMORPG’s. (Anarchy Online and Shattered Galaxy)

Oh, and the most important thing – found out whether the baby is a boy, or girl. Girl.

Things I haven’t done:

Checked the entire Vox Aggregator compulsively.
Read more than 5 blogs – in a week.
Shuffle my blog’s design – at all. Ok, well… until tonight.

It’s not that I don’t like blogging. I really do. I just had it in my head that I MUST, if I blog, write something ultimately compelling, astute, and… umm.. apologetical.

I’m sorry, but I guess I’m just not up to it anymore. Not since I’ve been married, at least. Single guys have nothing but time. I started this blog as a single guy, and I took that time. You wouldn’t BELIEVE the time I spent on some of the content in the archives. It’s insane. I’m just not going to do it anymore. I’ll post, but it’ll be about normal, everyday stuff.

I came to a realization. We are to be prepared to give an answer – that is correct. However. You answer someone who asked you.

I’ll answer, should someone ask. I have, several times, since March. I may even write about them. I have one in mind when I say this, that i might share with you, later. Theoretical knowledge just doesn’t compete with practical application, though. Especially when you’re sacrificing family time for blog time.

Well, my wife is talking to a high school friend who also blogs – and I’m running out of juice. I still have to work tomorrow!

So, glad to see you again, and my im’s are all the same. I may even log in to them tomorrow!

See you later.

Vox is not canceled permanently – I worded it badly, in the last post.

The current editions were canceled. God Or Not, on the other hand, IS canceled permanently.

Vox Weekly is suspended temporarily as I retool it, but the Symposium will have a new topic soon.

Look for updates.